Cheaters go to hell :/

One thing I really cannot tolerate in life is infidelity. adultery. cheating. affair.

Now, if you’re into open relationships and sharing those kinda things, you better leave now.

OK, to the rest of you, lying cheating scumbags out there, listen to me. Hey, how you doing? It’s all good, it’s all fine? LIES! I wanna tell y’all something very important: clean your own junks. So frickin gross.

Not only are you people liars, y’all also fucked in the head. My question is, why do you make a commitment if you know you won’t be able to keep it? If you prefer dickS and vaginaS – yes, bitches. I mean plural with a big friggin S – why y’all settle down with only one? Out of obligation? Procrastination purpose? Religion related? Pffft. Gimme a frickin break because my blood sugar be low. *tries to calm mind, body and spirit*

Name me one or two good reasons why infidelities happen in the first place?

Imma try to put myself in y’all stinky ragged shoes:

  1. Emotional crack-headed bitch: OMG, he ain’t want me no more. He been working all day long, he ain’t have time for me anymore. *goes into ugly cry mode*
  2. Overpaid, fat-ass sleazy douche: Damn, she getting thick. I’m a man with needs and functioning eyes, how am I suppose to get it up if she look like Gloria from Madagascar? *rubs self, thinks of the anorexic chick at work*
  3. Ugly-ass douche who thinks he’s a looker: Fml I can’t stand it no more, I’m Don Juan, girls come at a snap of  my fingers. I’m gonna find me some hot chicks I can bang. Yeah, that’s what I’m gonna do. *thrusts hips into air and grabs crotch*
  4. Gramps: Granny’s gonna be dead soon, I’ll find me a maiden to bear me an heir. *flashbacks to 1769 when he was a playboy*
  5. Cougar slash expiring-soon momma: Oh-la-la! Them young hunks are making my minora labia and majora labia twitching with praises and joy. They get all grey’s anatomy and I do need some grey’s anatomy action in my boring life. *fixes oversized fake boobs and puts on more water-resistant lipstick from Estee Lauder*

What else, that’s all I can think of now, I’ll continue the list later xD

ANYHOO..Excuses, excuses, and excuses. Now I’m not saying that I’m a saint whatsoever. Temptation will always be there, after all we all have physical needs, right? However, it’s a different story when you’re already committed to someone and you break your commitment just so you can get a temporary release.

Keep your pants and panties on! Geez!!

OK I’m done, I need to go back to work xD :p Wipe yo own shit, people! TTYL

 

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